Gone with the weight
Fitness Drama Fiction
Notes:
I published a Spanish audio version of this story in my podcast a while ago (Click Here to hear it). Sorry, no sexy voice for this English version, but there will be soon - so make sure to subscribe to stay up to date (FREE). To read this in Spanish click HERE.
Due to the editing this story to publish it in writing, and to translating it into English, and the time that has passed since I wrote it, I have made several small minor changes to the story, but the gist and form has been maintained.
Have you ever suffered from weight loss, exercise, or diet obsession? Leave your comments in the box below this writing.
In this story I try to present a reality that is not highlighted enough in the world of health and fitness and in society in general, which is the obsession with weight loss and the countless negative issues it has caused.
There are many ways in which people and society can fall victim to such obsession, and in this writing, I intend to present an Issue that I have observed a few times as a fitness professional for over two decades; couples and families breaking.
The obsession with weight loss in this society is but one of many issues that everybody knows is real but nobody wants to talk about. Like the ghost in the closet; you know it is there - you hear it breathing, you feel it getting stronger, you smell its toxicity - but you don’t want to look, until it is too late.
Gone with the weight!
At Mariela and Pedro's house everything was perfectly arranged, clean, and ready for them to go to the beach. And while the sun that entered through the window illuminated her body -and waiting for her beloved- Mariela admired her figure in a mirror that she had hung on the wall a few months ago. It turns out that her trainer, a fitness guru who showed photos of her perfect body on social media as a presentation card, had recommended putting up a large mirror somewhere in the house, so she could find her flaws, admire her achievements, and focus on her goals.
Seeing the curves of her hips, and her butt "in place," she kept thinking about how far she had come thanks to that physical transformation program that had cost her an arm and a leg in fact, and from which Pedro wasn't very happy that we can say - but apparently that mess had already been resolved in the most common way... not talking about it; and the subject, Mariela threw it inside her closet.
What mattered to her was the promise of a future in which she would look better for her partner, and for her self-confidence. "The goals Mariela, the goals," she reminded herself, focusing on her own gaze reflected in the mirror. And each news like on her Instagram reaffirmed that thinking.
She felt that each pound lost, and each appearance of a line on her body that reflected muscle toning, and that made her look more #fit, brought her closer to her happiness and to even more unconditional love from her husband. But this was about to change.
When Pedro came out of the bedroom, already dressed and eager for a sunny day at the beach, he found his partner in front of what, with his back teeth, he called 'The Mirror of Mariela's dreams'. That mirror where the unfulfilled desires of her beloved were reflected. Those desires that she chased with a fixed gaze, and without stuttering, but that were getting further and further away from her, the more she pursued them. That mirror that she reflected in herself, her deepest desires—or according to Pedro, the desires imposed by social media and by her guru—those of losing inches and weight, and gaining muscle tone.
Rolling his eyes and eager to destroy that mirror, once again, Pedro tried to make his wife understand that he didn't care about that, that when he met her, she was chubby and that was one of the reasons why he felt attracted to her.
But just like a terrorist attack, unexpected and worthy of relentless retaliation, hearing those words, Mariela exploded with anger, and screams came out of her mouth. "Don't you like how I look now? So much so that I diet and exercise to be good and beautiful for you and you continue with that?" And with tears of fury, she stopped her screams, and exhaling after a deep breath said serenely, "Look, let's go to the beach, and this matter is over." Pedro, in shock, not knowing how to react at the moment, followed her.
And they went to sunbathe in front of the sea without realizing that in their closet, where they kept the arguments that were never resolved, a monster had emerged. A monster made up of the screams, the fear, the misery, the agony, and the lack of communication between them. And they did not realize that that beast in the closet caused by the weight loss issue would follow them to the beach.
For Mariela, to talk about not losing weight and still being able to be happy was talking about her secret battle between a simpler and serene past but with a few extra pounds, and a future that guarantees her even more happiness; with the addition of more success, more longevity, more stares full of desire, and always being hot. This made her feel guilty, for which the subject was a very delicate one.
There, in front of the waves, Pedro kept thinking about that morning, one of many in which the weight loss monster appeared in different dresses. That the bikini doesn't look good on her, that the office clothes didn’t highlight her ass the way she wanted, or that that her belly wasn't flat yet, like her trainer promised. And while the wind blew in his face, and the sun finished cooking his anguish, Pedro made a decision. And if there was silence at the beach, in the car on the way home you could even hear their heartbeats.
Once parked at their house and getting out of the car, Pedro released the first bullets that would have started the end of the war against Mariela’s weight loss. This was the moment when all the thoughts, and all the words held in front of the sea, came out of his mouth like a full dam that needed to be leveled. "Marie, we have to talk."
Suddenly, she could feel that cold mystery that is felt even in the bones when the end is near, when you can no longer escape from the monster that would take our soul. "I can't go on with this anymore," Pedro continued. "I'm tired of not seeing you in the mornings because you are at the gym, and doing nothing when I see you because you are in a cleanse or preparing for a challenge, or if whatever it is that I want to do does not satisfy your caloric expenditure."
Pedro takes a pause and a breath, and continues, ¨You got carried away by all the shit that appears in the media to convince you that you are ugly, that I don't like you and when I tell you that I don't care if you lose weight or if you look skinnier or not, you get angry, and you scream at me. I can’t do this anymore".
And Mariela, thinking that she was right, could not understand how the love of her dreams, Pedro, "A simple and unassuming man, who loves me as I am!", and with whom she swore to spend the rest of her life, could be so inconsiderate of the sacrifice she was making for both of them.
Without thinking much, and full of rage, she responded with the following "Well, better. I'll be hot for someone else." Something that, in fact, her trainer had already mentioned. "Remove from your life Mariela, whoever does not support your goals". He, in the midst of such a bad moment, of anguish, and of the sadness of reaching a painful decision, takes a deep breath while he closed his eyes. This silence was even deeper and darker for her. "No, you're going to be hot, but you're going to be alone, because you don’t focus on anything else other than your own body" said the hurt man, and Pedro grabbed his keys and left the house.
It is told through gossip that Mariela is still single and depressed, but continues to exercise and diet intensely - but now with a new found purpose. According to a mutual acquaintance, now Mariela, ironically wants to be a trainer to teach other women to achieve their goals and be successful just as she has done it.
However, secretly and in loneliness, she dreams of one day seeing Pedro again and rewinding everything to be happy again. To have someone who loves her again whether she's plump or not... a simpler life. While still in her head is the memory of that monster that devoured her soul. The memory of what was gone with the weight!
End!